Knowing oneself makes it easier to find other people who share your passions, and can improve your empathy. “Cultivating this sense of being alone and making the choice to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are,” Dr. It also helps us discover new interests and ideas without having to worry about the opinions of others - one study even showed that teens are less self-conscious when they’re alone. The freedom of not having to follow the lead of others, with “no pressure to do anything, no pressure to talk to anyone, no obligation to make plans with people,” is a great way to process and decompress, even for highly social individuals, Ms. More consistently, people who value solitude and who tend not to ignore their own desires in the pursuit of pleasing others will find time alone more enjoyable, she said. ![]() Coplan added.Įnjoying the benefits of time alone isn’t a question of being an introvert or extrovert, Dr. Since we’re not used to labeling that feeling, it can easily be confused for, and feed into, other feelings like anxiety, exhaustion and stress, especially since “we might not know that time alone is what we need to make ourselves feel better,” Dr. Similar to how loneliness describes being alone and wanting company, “aloneliness” can be used to describe the natural desire for solitude, Dr. Why it’s good to spend time aloneĪn online survey called The Rest Test showed that the majority of activities people defined as most restful are things that are done solo.ĭespite the social stigma and apprehension about spending time alone, it’s something our bodies crave. Our aversion to being alone can be quite drastic: A quarter of the women and two-thirds of the men in a University of Virginia study chose to subject themselves to an electric shock rather than do nothing and spend time alone with their thoughts. “There have been studies that show when we are by ourselves, what is uncomfortable is the lack of stimuli, that you can’t rely on other people to shape your experience in a certain way,” Dr. Overestimating how much other people are paying attention to us, and worrying that we’re being judged, can stop us from doing things that would otherwise bring us joy.īeing alone with your thoughts, and giving yourself the space and unstructured time to let your mind wander without social distractions, can also sometimes feel intimidating, said Angela Grice, a speech language pathologist who has conducted research on executive functions and neuroscience at Howard University and the Neurocognition of Language Lab at Columbia University. Research has shown that people often feel inhibited from enjoying activities alone, especially when they think others are watching them. “Some people make their solitude experience entirely about other people,” Dr. “It’s hard for them to imagine that you can have both.” Because there is so much research demonstrating that humans are social creatures who benefit from interacting with others, “people will try to dismiss that it’s also important to spend time alone,” he said. ![]() The problem is that we forget solitude can also be a choice - and it doesn’t have to be full time. “Historically, solitude has had a pretty bad rap” because it is sometimes used as a form of punishment, said Robert Coplan, a developmental psychologist and professor of psychology at Carleton University. ![]() The added bonus? Getting started is easy - all you need is yourself. In fact, getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout, said Emily Roberts, a psychotherapist. In a culture where we often confuse being alone for loneliness, the ability to appreciate time by ourselves prevents us from processing the experience as a negative thing. “We have some evidence to show that valuing solitude doesn’t really hurt your social life, in fact, it might add to it,” she said, pointing out that because solitude helps us regulate our emotions, it can have a calming effect that prepares us to better engage with others.Ĭhoosing to spend time doing things by yourself can have mental, emotional and social benefits, but the key to reaping those positive rewards comes from choosing to spend time alone. “It’s not that solitude is always good, but it can be good” if you’re open to rejecting the idea - common in the west - that time by yourself is always a negative experience you’re being forced into, according to Thuy-vy Nguyen, an assistant professor in the department of psychology at Durham University, who studies solitude. But the mere act of being alone with oneself doesn’t have to be bad, and experts say it can even benefit your social relationships, improve your creativity and confidence, and help you regulate your emotions so that you can better deal with adverse situations. Being lonely hurts - it can even negatively impact your health.
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